Bill Gates Speaks Out Against "Software Cloning"

REDMOND, WA -- During his first annual "State of the Windows" speech delivered via satellite hookup to millions of Microserfs earlier today, Microsoft figurehead Bill Gates came out strongly against "software cloning" by humans.

"The practice of cloning -- or copying -- software is unethical, immoral, and a clear violation of God's law," Gates said. "We must not permit this injustice to happen anywhere."

"Cloned software lacks technical support," he continued. "It lacks documentation. It lacks Certificates of Authenticity. In short, it doesn't have a soul and should never have been created."

He also took the opportunity to chastise Free Software leaders for producing software that is designed to be cloned. "The sheer number of half-baked, half-finished open source projects polluting the Internet clearly demonstrates the inferior nature of cloned software. With each successive copy, the quality decreases."

"Peaceful methods to convince people to stop using cloned open source software have proven fruitless," Gates said. "It's time for action. If that means we have to declare war against the fruitcake Communists engaged in this vile, inhumane practice, then so be it..."


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